Did everyone have a wonderful Memorial Day? I hope that all of you had a great time filled with family, friends and food. I know mine was. Although, my Honey finally found out how completely neurotic I am this past Friday when he announced that dang near everyone he’s ever met would be filtering through our home during the three day weekend.
I’ve told you that my house is rather small and is now occupied by two adults, 1 full time child (Baby Girl), 1 ¾ child (Prissy a.k.a. Crack Head #2), 1 part time child (his 19 month old daughter – Bug) and 3 dogs (Snow, Nugget and Salty). The funny thing is I am Closter phobic so my life is now in a constant state of OMG!
I was really looking forward to a long, relaxing weekend filled with sun and fun. I had made plans to scrapbook with my girlfriends on Friday evening (yes, I’m a goober). On Saturday I figured we would hang out by the pool or do yard work, get some sun and eventually throw some burgers on the grill. On Sunday we were supposed to grill with the Patio Princesses and on Monday I figured I would relax in the sun and do NOTHING all day. That is what I’d envisioned for my weekend…………that is NOT how it turned out.
Now, I’ve mentioned Bug. She is Honey’s baby girl and she is 19 months old. She is beautiful and I love her like she is my own. She lives with her mother in Illinois and we get her the 1st week of every month. Note, I said 1st week of the month. I love having her here and really wish we could get her more often but as it is now, this is the schedule that her parents have agreed upon and it seems to be working fine.
On Tuesday, I was informed that we were getting Bug back on Friday (May 27th). Now, please don’t get me wrong – I am always happy when Bug comes home but May the 27th isn’t the first week of the month – it is the last week of the month. When I brought this up he looked at me like I was speaking Japanese and said, “It will be the first week in June when I take her back”. Uh, yeah – sorry, I assumed the first week of the month meant that the date we GOT her would be in the actual month of which we were supposed to be getting her the first week of. Either way – no big deal. So, I emailed my girlfriends to let them know that I wouldn’t be joining them to scrap because I wanted/needed to be home when Bug arrived.
On Thursday night Honey informs me that he may not go get Bug until Saturday because he to finish the job he was working on by EOB Friday. OK – I email the girls and tell them I’m back in for scrappin’. Honey calls Bug’s mom to let her know the “new plan” and was met with a little tension. On Friday morning I am informed that he is going to get Bug that evening in order to keep the peace. I send another email – sorry girls, I’m out again”. Around 2p on Friday, Honey calls to let me know that he is not going to pick up Bug and that he’d talked to her mother and everything was cool. I decide not to buy into his trickery again and do not email my girls. Sure enough, he strolls through the door a little after 6p. Dang it!!!! Too late now to gather my stuff and besides, I needed to clean house and do laundry.
As we sit on the patio discussing the “plan” for the weekend I am told that he is leaving at 6am on Saturday to go get Bug (they meet in Missouri). It takes him a little over 6 hours round trip so that puts him home between noon and 1p. Sparky’s birthday party is at 2p – so that will work. I am then told that his sister (Erin), Erin’s Hubby (Tiger), his mother (Mom) and her husband (Nelly) are coming over for dinner because they want to see Bug and Mom’s birthday is on Sunday. OK – so, I will spend Saturday cleaning house and shopping for presents. We will go to a birthday party and have his family over for dinner. I started to itch and feel a little shaky.
Now, you must note, I LOVE his family and I love to visit with them and hang out……..just not in my house. And it’s not just his family, it’s my family, friends, whoever. People in general – that’s a better way to put it and the reason is that I become a nervous wreck when I have a house full of people. It’s not that I don’t like people to come over – it’s just that the house is small and I have too many animals and children running around to allow me to relax. I always feel like I have to be doing something. It’s like nervous energy that I try desperately to use for good and not evil – sometimes it works.
He then tells me that on Sunday his father (Papa) and his step-mother (BB) are coming over to see Bug. OK – so on Sunday we will have the Patio Princesses (Amy, Nana, Harley and TJ) plus Papa and BB. That’s cool – there will be more than enough food and it will be fine. One more thing he adds – on Monday, another couple (the girl who is going to keep Bug) are coming over so I can meet them prior to her beginning her baby sitting gig. Fine – I want to meet this person before I leave my baby with her so this is a good thing…right?
Sometime Friday evening it dawned on me that my relaxing holiday weekend was going to be anything but. I had a small breakdown which prompted my Honey to finally realize that inviting the world over without discussing it with me first is probably not the best decision he can make. He assured me that he will remember my neurosis in the future thus avoiding having me go into mental overload. Personally, I just don’t think he likes snot on his shoulder or the fact that he feels obligated to try and console me when I’m having a completely ridiculous breakdown.
However, I must say that the weekend went well. We enjoyed the company of our family and friends and ate TONS of wonderful food (compliments of my Honey – he is a fabulous cook) and I didn’t hyperventilate or throw up. The weather wasn’t great – cool and cloudy but it never rained so we were able to keep the party outside. That helped me a lot because it’s the crowding in the house that sends me over the edge. I managed to relax and enjoy everyone being there. Maybe there is hope for me after all……….nah, I’ll always be a freak.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Women Vs. Men....Guess Who Wins
WOMAN’S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
WOMAN’S REVENGE
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a TV remote control in her purse.
“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
“No” she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally!”
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A Man’s Perspective)
I know I’m not going to understand women.
I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
Pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider!
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a marriage seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor.
“It is essential that husbands and wives know each other’s likes and dislikes.”
He addressed the man…
“Can you name your wife’s favorite flower?”
Tom leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered,
“It’s Pillsbury, isn’t it?”
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, “Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?”
He answers, “You see, it’s like this. Yesterday I sent my wife to the store for a carton of cigarettes. She came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers…’cause it’s soooooooooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she.”
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
The wife responded, “Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me.
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!”
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, “You should do it because you get up first and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”
The husband said, “You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it because that is your job.”
The wife replies, “No you should do it – and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”
Husband replies, “I can’t believe that – show me.”
So the fetched the Bible and opened the New Testament…
To the Book of HeBrews.
She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
WOMAN’S REVENGE
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a TV remote control in her purse.
“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
“No” she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally!”
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A Man’s Perspective)
I know I’m not going to understand women.
I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
Pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider!
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a marriage seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor.
“It is essential that husbands and wives know each other’s likes and dislikes.”
He addressed the man…
“Can you name your wife’s favorite flower?”
Tom leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered,
“It’s Pillsbury, isn’t it?”
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, “Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?”
He answers, “You see, it’s like this. Yesterday I sent my wife to the store for a carton of cigarettes. She came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers…’cause it’s soooooooooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she.”
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
The wife responded, “Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me.
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!”
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, “You should do it because you get up first and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”
The husband said, “You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it because that is your job.”
The wife replies, “No you should do it – and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”
Husband replies, “I can’t believe that – show me.”
So the fetched the Bible and opened the New Testament…
To the Book of HeBrews.
English Is Hard
Sorry I've been so lax lately but there has been lots going on. I have so much I need to tell you guys! Memorial Day was BUSY, Baby Girl will be cheering at a Redbirds game, Bug is potty training and my job still sucks. However, I'm not posting about any of those today.........well, not right this second anyway. Right now I would like to share a list of "reasons English is hard to learn" that my mother sent to me earlier. Any of you out there that love words like I do will truly appreciate this.
Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
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