Mini Muffin Madness

Good Lord!!! I haven’t posted since November?!?! What on Earth is wrong with me? Nothing, I’m lazy……….Hi, have you met me?

Ok, so what all has been going on in my world? Hmmm? Well, Bug got a battery operated, pink and white “Harley” for Christmas from Papa and BB and now she terrorizes the neighborhood with it’s obnoxious sound effects. Baby Girl is trying her best to make me absolutely crazy. She would forget her head if it wasn’t up her butt. I think we are going to have her tested for ADD – either she needs meds or I do. Prissy has been chosen for Pre-Team at gymnastics………….not sure what that means but I think it’s good. We went to Illinois at Christmas time and it was wonderful. Very quiet and peaceful……….I could live there. What else? Oh yeah, we are now getting bug two weeks a month and we are thrilled. She has given up her Nuk (pacifier) – we told her that Salty Bear (the dog) ate it. She now hates the dog but no longer asks for the Nuk…..poor Salty Bear. Hmmmmm………..what else? It seem’s like I am forgetting something……..hmmmm? Oh yeah – I’M PREGNANT!!!!!!!

That’s right folks; Honey and I are working on CH #4. We are hoping and praying (and begging and bargaining) that this one is a boy. Honey says that if we have another girl he is liable to walk into oncoming traffic. Actually, we are just praying for a healthy baby but if God should happen to be surfing the net and stumbles across my little blog I hope he takes pity on me and makes this one MALE!

So far everything is going fine. It’s obvious that I will now become a better poster as I now have a whole new resource for material. So, be prepared to read about how my pregnancy progresses. And please don’t think I will be posting sappy entries about how Honey and I fall asleep every night with our hands on my belly gushing about how much we love this baby and how happy we are………….GAG! Nope, you will probably read more intimate details about my life than you EVER wanted to know. I just hope that none of Honey’s friends read this blog………they might make fun of him.

Let’s see – to date – no morning sickness. Every once and a while I get a little pang of “yuck” but nothing worth whining about. I’m already getting too big for my pants and I haven’t even been to my first appointment yet. I have my first OB visit on 2/14/06 and will probably have already gained about 20 pounds!! I actually haven’t really gained any weight, it’s just that my body is tired and now that it knows there’s no point in “sucking in” anymore………I’ve lost the ability to do so.

I bought Honey a book called “Pregnancy Sucks (for Him) – When your little miracle makes you both miserable”. I’ve read some of it and it is HYSTERICAL. The good thing is, I can tell he is reading it too and following it’s instructions. He is going to be a wonderful husband through out this pregnancy……….at least so far he’s doing pretty good.

I’m sure a lot of you hate me because I have no morning sickness but trust me – I have TONS of other stuff that is going wrong and falling apart so shut up and leave me alone. It would seem that I am a tiny bit hormonal……..ok, ok – I’m just plain irritable and bitchy. I have ZERO patience for anyone or anything. This is making life very hard on CH #1 as she has chosen this time to completely lose her mind and stop doing her schoolwork altogether. No reason for it she says, just “I don’t know” and “I forgot”. It would seem that my child “forgot” to answer the questions on her Social Studies test prior to turning it in which resulted in a big, fat zero. Go figure.

Anyway, back to bitchy. My wonderful husband has been trying to help our oldest child learn to cope (avoid) my hormonal imbalance. He has tried to explain to her that “Mama is just a little sensitive and her hormones are out of whack so just be really good and don’t speak to her or breathe her air”. Simple enough right? WRONG!

About a week ago I wanted a salad for dinner. I wanted a salad from Applebee’s because they have peas on their salad bar. Honey tried to tell me that I had all of the salad stuff I could ever want in our fridge (he was so proud that he’s stocked up on the one thing I was craving so far). I “explained” to him that I wanted Applebee’s because they had PEAS!!! Now, please note, I have NEVER, not once, even thought of putting peas on my salad but for some reason I now HAVE to have them so off to Applebee’s we went.

We had a nice dinner and Baby Girl and Honey discussed how they were going to have to deal with “Mama and her hormones” EVERY day for NINE WHOLE MONTHS. Oh, the horror!! I mean, I have to deal with them and their dirty laundry every day for at least the next EIGHTEEN YEARS!!!!!! I think I’m the one getting ripped off so what the heck do they have to whine about (see, a little irritable).

Anyway, we get in the car to head home and I was driving. Honey and Baby Girl get into one of there normal back and forth “You pooted” “Nu Uh, You pooted” “No I didn’t, YOU did” “No Daddy, YOU DID IT” and as delightful as this is to listen to EVERY time we get in the car, I really wasn’t feeling the joy on this particular evening. Baby Girl threatens to throw her empty Coke can at Honey and he tells her she’d better not. He then picks up a bag of mini muffins from my console and chunks them in the backseat at Baby Girl! I snapped.

I started yelling about how my vehicle was NOT and amusement park and there was going to be no flying objects in MY car while I was driving. Furthermore, I would pull MY car over, jerk them BOTH out, whip their butts and leave them to walk home if anything else was hurled in my vehicle. I mean I was really letting them have it…….na na nana nanana na na!

Honey looks in the back seat at Baby Girl and says, “Baby Girl, THOSE are hormones”. Without skipping a beat Baby Girl holds up the bag and says, “No Daddy, these are mini muffins – they’re blueberry”. Needless to say I did pull my car over because I was laughing so there were tears streaming down my face and I couldn’t see. Not to mention that I had to pee so bad I was tempted to squat behind one of those 18 wheelers that park behind the mall.

We made it home safe and dry. Baby Girl had experienced her first major pregnancy “fit” and we’d all had a bonding moment. We also coined another new phrase. Ever since that night, any time I seem a little bit irritated, Honey always asks if he should leave the room before I start throwing muffins. My standard answer is YES!!!!