I am learning all kinds of new stuff living up here in the fields. One of those things is when PaPaw says “soon” he means SOON. At approximately 7:30am the very next morning we were introduced to Deano……Saint of Septic Systems.
Deano arrived with PaPaw, both toting their coffee cups and wandered around the yard for about 20 minutes. He threw out some numbers……….several times and not once were they the same…..and they agreed on a price of somewhere around $4500 to install a new tank, new pipe and new laterals (those are the “pipes” that drain the excess “fluids” out of the tank and into the “leach field”…….I looked it up). He informed us that he would be able to get it done that afternoon and left to go get his equipment. I was a little bit concerned but I’m a city girl – what do I know?
Deano showed back up to begin the installation of our new septic system at 3:30pm!! He brought two guys, his backhoe, a tiller and a flatbed truck which held 240 ft. of laterals, a bunch of PVC pipe and my beautiful new 1000 gallon septic tank. His first order of business was to FIND the pipe that led from the house to the old tank. He did this by digging in the area where he “felt it should be”. After about 15 minutes, he’d dug a trench next to my patio that was about 8 ft. long and 4 ft. deep. He did not find the old pipe but he DID managed to find the water line……….which he broke. You see, there’s no “call before you dig” number out here…….in Oakley you use the “feel like” method which is Northern for “GUESS”
So, while Honey went to shut off the water, Deano “studied” the ground for a while and then made the announcement that he “felt like” he needed to move back a little farther as to be in line with the junction that was in the yard (DUUHHH). After a few more minutes, he found the pipe and his two “helpers” started busting it up with sledge hammers. They then installed the new pipe that would lead to our new....um…tank. All the while Deano just kept on digging. Snaking this long trench around our beautiful yard and throwing mounds of dirt all over the place. I was so engrossed in the destruction of my beautiful yard I almost forgot to grab my camera to take pictures – that’s right, I a city girl and a new septic tank isn’t something you see everyday.
When I came out with the camera, Honey had the most mortified look on his face. He said, “PLEASE tell me you aren’t going to take pictures of the septic tank”. I was shocked. OF COURSE I was going to take pictures. I plan to have at LEAST two pages in my scrapbook dedicated to our Septic Saga. So, much to his horror, I started snapping pictures (you will see them below). The “men” just laughed at me and made comments about me being from Tennessee like that was something that made ME odd. At least in Tennessee when I flushed it didn’t wind up in some mysterious hole in my backyard!!
Anyway, after about 4 hours the entire job was complete. I had the honor of being the official “tester” and everything worked wonderfully. While I was testing, the “helper” was filling in the lateral trenches and tilling over the mounds of dirt in order to flatten them out some. He did a great job and the girls were already digging in the soft dirt and looking for “treasure” i.e. broken glass, pieces of pipe, tree roots and rocks. I came outside just in time to see Deano loading up the tiller on his truck........without tilling up the MOUNDS of dirt that were directly outside my back door. I asked PaPaw, “isn’t he going to till up this stuff too?” pointing at the mounds that had tree roots and pieces of broken clay pipe jutting out of the top like some kind of Vietnamese booby trap. He said, “Well, I would’ve thought he would but he must have a good reason not to”. Being that I am not yet of the mindset that as a woman I should just stay in the house and bake pies, I decided that good ole Deano was going to have to explain his “good reason” to ME and off I went (with a baby on my hip – cause I’m a redneck woman) to ASK Deano nicely why he was leaving a deathtrap in my backyard.
As I walked away, PaPaw informed My Honey that if Deano didn’t think it needed to be tilled down it wasn’t going to get done. My Honey informed PaPaw that if I wanted it to be tilled down he could bet his last dollar that it was going to get done. About 2 minutes later, the “helper” was driving that tiller back up to my house and PaPaw just shook his head. He told My Honey, “I can’t believe they gave into her” to which My Honey replied, “I had NO doubt”.
So, after another few minutes, the ENTIRE job was complete and Deano loaded up his truck and left with the promise of coming back in a week to till everything again and put down seed. That was 3 weeks ago and we have yet to see him. My Honey says that he probably won’t come back for fear I will be at home. It looks like I’m not the only one that has to “get used to” a new way of life. Some of the “men folk” up here have NO idea what to think of me but as long as I say what I have to say in my best Southern accent………..they tend to “feel like” doing what I ask.
Friday, September 14, 2007
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