They Haven't Killed Me Yet

Don't pass out - it's really me!

Since we've moved SO much has happened. The good news is that I am NOT dead (as some have eluded to). We just bought a "new" house in Cerro Gordo and are working hard to get it fixed up so that we can move "to town". If My Honey and I make it through this without involving a divorce attorney I think we will last forever.

Since my last post (almost a YEAR ago) Bug has started Pre-K, Bean is almost 2 and Baby Girl has started Middle School (and her period - so glad she doesn't read this). We've adopted a friend for Snow Boy (her name is Roxie) and I have managed to stay out of the Piatt County News!

We have discovered that Bean is alergic to Oranges, Bug is alergic to the work "no" and Baby Girl is alergic to doing dishes. My Honey and I are reminded on a daily basis that we are "no fair" and have come to the conclusion that there is a strong possibility that Baby Girl may have to have a full set of dentures before Junior High (cause I'm going to be forced to knock her teeth out). We have also discovered that wallpaper put up in 1915 doesn't come down easily, having 3 kids in a construction zone may contrubute to achoholism and that "please help me by watching your sister for a minute" equals "get on your cellphone and wander outside" to an 11 year old.

I have begun to use phrases that I'd sworn off as a child like "because I said so", "I'll give you something to cry about", "I don't care what the other kids are doing" and "don't hug me it's too hot". I have also added a few new ones that I seem to use everyday - "where is your diaper", "please Lord tell me that's chocolate on your hands" and "one day they are going to find me running naked and screaming through the timber if you people don't LEAVE ME ALONE".

I must say that I still really love it up here but I do miss some of the things you only find in Memphis. Like, not once have I found an obiturary up here for anyone named "Junebug" or "Main Man". I have yet to pull up to a drive-thru and had to rely on my ebonics training to decipher what the person was saying on the speaker. Not one of our politicians have been appointed by God. There hasn't been one murder, rape, home invasion and not one child has died in a hot car/van here in Oakley. I can finish the crossword puzzle in "one smoke" and was forced to eat fresh corn from the fields just last week. I am now required to sit on the porch and eat watermelon with the entire family at least one Sunday a month and my kids can play outside without fear of being hit by a car, kidnapped or shot. I'm telling you - the more I think about it the more I wonder what I was thinking moving up here.

I have a ton of stories to tell and I will be posting them more regulary now that I have a good Internet connection. I promise they will be worth the wait.

Thanks to everyone that has inquired about my mortality. I know that's it's hard to believe but they haven't killed me............yet!