The Oldest End User

When I first began managing Desktop Services at my company, we were still running a mixture of Windows 95 and 98. We were in the process of renegotiating hardware contracts and were moving from Gateway to Compaq. We decided, since most of our equipment was past end of life, to begin upgrading both the hardware and the OS at the same time. So, little by little, we would purchase new equipment and upgrade the “neediest” users first and eventually distributing new machines to all 900 users.

As you can imagine, everyone immediately became the “neediest”. If a computer crashed in Customer Service and we replaced it, we would have problems reports out of everyone in the department within an hour. Everybody wanted the new machines because they were 10X faster than the old ones and they looked really cool (at the time). Anyway, we had a machine crash in the Accounting department one day so we replaced it with a new unit. The lady sitting next to the user who got the new PC (we will call her Fanny) was about 102 years old. When Fanny started in the Accounting field, they were still carving numbers in stone tablets so let’s just say that she isn’t the most computer literate individual on the planet. However, once Fanny saw the new PC her co-worker had received; she began her calculated mission to get one of her own. Now, Fanny is old but she is far from frail. In fact, I would go so far as to say she is a feisty little heifer.

Fanny began calling me at least once a day to tell me of some other “ailment” her computer had none of which could be recreated when a tech arrived at her desk. She finally wore me down when she called for the 10th time to tell me that “the computer had deleted her spreadsheets”. I threw up my hands and conceded to issue her a new machine. It was installed later that day and all was quiet in Ms. Fanny’s cube for the remainder of the week.

The following Monday morning, I was walking past Fanny’s desk and she says, in her best angry grandmother tone, “Come here and look at this”. I went over to her desk and stood over her shoulder while she explained her problem. She opens an Excel spreadsheet that she used for weekly balancing. She says, “Every Monday I have to create a new spreadsheet for the previous weeks’ numbers.” I nod knowingly, having no idea where this is leading. She goes on, “I open this spreadsheet and I go up here in the corner and click this little box and the whole sheet turns gray” and she demonstrates. “Then I go up to File and press Copy.” I say, “Yes ma’am”. “Then, I go down here and click on this tab to open a new page.” Again, I shake my head in agreement. “Then I go up here and click on File and Copy and nothing happens.” Now, bear in mind, she is using a tone with me that only my own grandmother would get away with and she is giving me this look like I have done something wrong. I say to her, “Ms. Fanny, you have to Copy then Paste to get your data to appear on the new spreadsheet.” “NO I DON”T! I’ve been doing this a long time and I think I know how to do my job.”

How am I supposed to respond? This woman is 102 and it’s obvious that she is convinced she is performing the correct functions. I can’t just say, “Well, you’re an idiot.” I have to be tactful and kind in this situation. I took a step back and pretended to be looking under her desk. I said, “Ohhhh, we upgraded your PC last week.” She said, “Yes you did and this one doesn’t work any better than the old one. What are you going to do to fix it?” I said, “I am so sorry. On the new computers you have to Copy and Paste. I apologize for the misunderstanding”. She huffed at me and said, “You know, you technical people should really let us know when you are going to make changes like this. SOME of us have very important jobs to do and don’t have time for this kind of error.”

For a split second I contemplated the repercussions of smacking this woman in the back of the head but decided against it. I hear that they don’t take kindly to people who abuse the elderly in prison. Instead I just smiled and apologized again for my oversight and returned to my office. Ms. Fanny was with our company for 5 more years after this happened and up until the day she left she swore that I personally had changed the way that MS Excel functioned. Bless her heart…………..old hateful heifer.