Who Done Passed?

My mother and I have this odd hobby. We like to read the obituaries in the local paper and keep track of the odd nicknames that appear. Everyday we call each other to keep the other informed of “who died today”. Now, for those of you who haven’t met me, I grew up in Frayser and am fluent in Ebonics. In order for this list to have nearly the impact on you as it does on us, you have to “hear” it in your head in a tone that is not of the Caucasian Persuasion. If you find this offensive or think this to be a racial – you don’t know me at all.

This is a list of our favorite dead people’s nicknames thus far:

Moonrunner,
Main Main,
Pop,
Turtle,
Pluke,
Bamama,
Cry Baby,
Big Baby,
Stick,
Dude,
Slick,
Weed,
Lil Mo,
Mr. Popcorn,
Rock City,
Baby Sister Blue (also Blu),
Boy Blue,
Bing Bong,
Sparky Brylcreem,
Square,
Hacksaw,
Pookie V,
Moon Pie,
Lil Man,
Chief,
Son (mother's name was Mae Thelma),
Foot,
Bobo,
Bootsie,
Spool Head,
Black,
Red,
Boo,
Prescious Tootsie Pie,
Baby Bro,
Hornie,
Aunt Bill,
The River Rat,
Rooster,
June Bug,
Swindock,
Squirrel,
Tater Bug,
Pistol Pete,
Daddy Jack (daughter's name was Acquanette),
D-Man,
Cool Papa,
Doo Lit,
PeeWee,
Whiskey,
Poone,
Jelly Roll,
Junebug Hardtimes,
Loveangel,
Santa Claus (wife's name was Sweetie),
Good Rockin' Daddy,
Tipping Willy,
Popeye,
Mother Tootie,
Kitty Bill,
Fruitjar,
MaGoo,
Nig,
Boy Man,
Po-Boy,
Hambone,
Nuddie,
Tenn,
Autolene,
Toddie,
Frog,
Ma-Dear,
Big Momma,
Dankey,
Beauty Black,
Pluto,
Boo,
Shakem-up,
Fat Fish,
Snow,
PoorBoy,
Pig,
Boss Ugly Bob,
Wimpy,
Moochie,
Nunu,
Pie,
C-May,
Big Daddy,
Duck

Now, I know that people are “known” by other names. For example, if your name is Robert but you are known as Bob, it’s only fitting to have that published in the paper when you die. I find it hard to believe that they had to publish “Junebug Hardtimes” in a man’s obituary in order for the world to figure out who he was. I’m sure he fought his whole life to get away from a name like that and there goes his wife, putting it out there for one last humiliation. However, I would like to thank these people for providing what has been an on-going source of entertainment for my family. Even my Baby Girl is in on it now. She always asked me “who done passed” when she sees me reading the paper. Poor kid, she better hope her uncle doesn’t write her obit – he calls her “Pooter Head”.