Pumpkin Patches and Crab Apples

I have always been involved with the schools that my daughter has attended. I’ve served on the PTA, been a Room Mother, volunteered for anything and everything that I could, hoping that the staff would remember my efforts when she set fire to the bathroom. Anyway, a year or so ago, we decided to plant a pumpkin patch and let every class participate in the harvest. Every teacher would get a package of seeds to plant in the Spring and then they would be harvested by the following year’s class in the Fall. The good thing is, in the City School System, it is almost guaranteed that some of the students would be able to harvest the exact same seeds they’d planted the prior year so nobody misses out on the fun.

The P.E. Coach, who was one of the only male teachers, volunteered to work the soil and even purchase the materials needed to build individual “patches” for each class. We planned to paint each teacher’s name on her classes “patches” so that there was no confusion as to who was responsible for which pumpkins come harvest time. That’s all we would need is “Little Johnny” knocking the snot out of poor “Little Shaniqua” for trying to pick his pumpkin! So, Coach built the boarders and turned the soil and got the ground ready for Planting Day. Meanwhile, I purchased a package of seeds for each teacher/class that would be participating. Each package was only like $ .10 so it wasn’t a huge financial burden and well worth it for the experience the children would receive.

I carefully printed out instructions with cutesy little pictures of Jack-O-Lanterns on them and took all of my materials to the school for distribution. I placed a package of seeds and instructions in each teacher’s mailbox in the office. Each teacher, that is, except for Ms. Crabapple. Ms. Crabapple was retiring at the end of the year so she would not be there for the harvest. We were planning to paint her predecessor’s name on her “plot” as she had already been named and was already a member of the staff. When I put the seeds in Ms. Notsohelpful’s box (she and Ms. Crabapple are close friends), I wrote her a note and asked her to let Ms. Crabapple know why she didn’t receive seeds and included the entire explanation about retirement, etc. However, if Ms. Crabapple would like seeds, I would be happy to pick up an additional package for her.

The next day, I am informed by one of the office staff that Ms. Crabapple and Ms. Notsohelpful are extremely upset and are going to Ms. Incharge (the Principal) about me. Now think about this, these GROWN women are upset because I didn’t give Ms. Crabapple a $ .10 package of pumpkin seeds. I told the office staff to let them talk to Ms. Incharge, I felt it was stupid and wasn’t going to dignify it with a response. But, the more I thought about it the madder I became. This woman, who never participates in Field Day or Carnival Day or any other Day that requires her to be outside, because she doesn’t want to get hot, is UPSET because I didn’t supply her with seeds to be planted OUTSIDE! Awwww bull crap – I had to do something. So, because I like to write and I am fairly fluent in sarcasm, I decided to write her a letter. I explained to her that I was sorry for her distress over the fact that she didn’t get any seeds, I reiterated that I would be glad to buy her some (if she didn’t have the dime required to make the purchase), I apologized that something intended to be fun and educational for the CHILDREN had cause dissention.

I’ve always heard that people and their dogs tend to look alike. I’ve heard that women who spend a great deal of time together usually “cycle” at the same time. I’d never heard that teachers that reach a certain point in their careers start to act like their students! This heifer was going to tell the Principal on me because I didn’t share my seeds! UGGHHHH! I get mad all over again just thinking about it. Its people like her that make others not even want to try to do good things for our schools. My mother always said that it only takes one bad apple to spoil the bunch – in this case it’s a Crabapple.