Oh, What Goes On In Their Little Crack Heads?

Let’s see……..it’s been a minute since I rambled about the Crack heads. Where, oh where should I begin?

A few weeks ago Nana walked into her kitchen and found a bowl of melting ice on her counter. When she entered her living room she discovered another bowl of melting ice turned UPSIDE DOWN on her carpet. As she pondered what they could possibly be doing with bowls of ice she noticed her couch. All of the throw pillows were wearing jackets and coats. The girls were nowhere to be found. When she told me about it I asked what they said when she questioned them. “I didn’t” she said, “I really don’t think I want to know.”

A few days after that, Honey calls me outside to, “just come look”. I walk out on the front porch and see that the girls have been playing in the “dirt” that accumulates at the end of our street when it rains. They have stolen two of Nana’s big plastic bowls and have cups and silverware strewn all over the neighbors yard (the little section by the mailbox). Just as I am about to ask what they are doing I notice something white laying in the middle of the dirt/mud and Baby Girl is sitting on it. I asked Honey, “what is she sitting on?” and he says, “That’s why I called you out here. Ask her.” At that precise moment, Prissy scoots by us carrying a huge bowl of mud with a few pieces of Styrofoam sticking out the top. She never looked up and never spoke, just scooted past us to her house. I call out to Baby Girl, “WHAT are you doing?” “Playing in the dirt”, she says in her most innocent voice. I ask, “WHAT are you sitting on?” After a brief pause she replies, “My coat”. HUH???? “Would that be your BRAND NEW, SOLID WHITE coat that you have NEVER EVEN WORN???” I ask. “Um, yes ma’am” she replies softly. By now she has gathered up her stuff, including her coat and made her way back to our yard, all the while desperately looking for Prissy to back her up to no avail. I try to stay calm and ask, “WHY would you take your coat out there and put it in the mud to sit on? She got this “I know you’re mad but I have a legitimate reason” look on her face and said, “Because we didn’t want to get our butts dirty”. OH! Now I get it, it makes perfect sense……..to a CRACKHEAD!

Last Friday afternoon my neighbor from across the street (the same one that lives in front of the dirt) knocks on my door and informs me that “the little girls that play here” had filled her mailbox with dirt………..ON TOP OF HER MAIL!! I was speechless. I apologized to her and told her that her mailbox would be clean momentarily. I sent Honey around the corner to fetch the girls from Spike’s house. I’m fairly certain that their rear ends were “warmed up” on the way home as they were both sniffing and walking kind of funny. I handed them wet and dry paper towels and told them to get busy cleaning up the mess. The whole time I’m standing over them telling them how messing with someone’s mailbox (and mail) is a crime and they are lucky the lady didn’t call the cops and have them arrested. I told them that we were not raising children that would destroy other people’s property and that they were both grounded for a week. I went on to tell them that they were NEVER to play in the neighbor’s yard again and if I caught either of them playing in that dirt again they were going to regret it. I was just ranting and raving about how I couldn’t believe that they would do something like that to someone else’s stuff. I mean it’s one thing for them to do crazy stuff to our houses (ice in the floor, dirt on Daddy’s truck, hand prints on the ceiling, etc) but for them to pull a stunt like this was just not going to be tolerated, blah, blah, on and on. Neither of them ever took their eyes off the inside of that mailbox so I’m pretty sure they were just tuning me out. I also made them march their little tails up to the door and apologize to our neighbor. Once it was all over, I sent #2 home (Nana was standing on her porch backing me up the whole time) and #1 on the house. I fixed Baby Girl some dinner and told her to get ready for bed (it was about 6pm). As I put her to bed I told her, “Baby Girl, I love you with all my heart and I don’t like fussing at you and having to punish you but I just can’t let you think it’s ok to do things like that”. She started to cry and told me, “Mama, I don’t know why I did it. Prissy said we should and I told her no but then I just got caught up in the moment and the next thing I knew, Daddy was coming to get us.” Caught up in the moment?? What eight year old says “caught up in the moment”? Anyway, I gave her a kiss and put her to bed and went to call Nana. I asked her how the mood was in her house and she told me that Prissy had decided to pack a bag and run away because “Syd and Mr. Honey are mean”. Not because we made them clean up the dirt, not because Honey spanked them, not even because we yelled at them. No, we are mean because it was embarrassing to have to apologize to the neighbor. Whatever! I hope they were embarrassed. Maybe they will think twice before committing their next felony.