A Place For MY Stuff

Well – it’s official – I finally FEEL married. You know how when you’re dating someone and all of their little “quirks” are cute and you laugh about them then suddenly when you get married they aren’t cute anymore? Yeah – I’m there.

Now, as always, I need to provide background information. Honey loses his keys, wallet and/or cell phone at LEAST 3 times a week. This normally occurs when we are trying to get somewhere at a specific time and are, of course, running late. When he can’t find whatever item he’s lost he gets mad. My usual response to this is to calmly walk to wherever I’d seen him go the day before (or hour before) and retrieve the item in question. I would then return it to him, smile and kiss him and he would say, “What would I do without you”. That was BEFORE we got married.

Now, please note – I ADORE my husband. For the most part we never fight. We have people constantly telling us that we make them sick because we are “too lovey dovey” (jealous much?). Anyway – the following is just a demonstration of how after you are married some of the cute stuff isn’t all that cute anymore.

Yesterday Honey went to the store to get my Diet Cokes (because I am spoiled). I am assuming that he could not locate his keys because he just took mine. He returned with 3 12 packs of my drug of choice and began to cook dinner (because I am spoiled rotten). The neighbors came down, Honey grilled burgers, hot dogs, baked beans, fries and I made potato salad (see, I contribute). Anyway, we sat out on the patio enjoying what might be our last pretty weekend before it turns cold listening to the radio and cutting up. Honey built a fire with the sun went down and the party went on until about 8p when it was time to start getting kids in the bed.

This morning, Honey got up and made coffee, got the girls up and fed while I took a shower (I know, I know – I’m keeping him). He left for work around 7:30a. I got the girls dressed and ready. Sent Baby Girl to the bus stop and took Bug down to Nana’s house. I came back, got my laptop, my Diet Coke and my purse. I went to retrieve my keys from my purse and they weren’t there………….HMMMMM? I NEVER lose my keys because if they aren’t in my ignition they are in my PURSE. It then dawns on me that Honey had been the last person to drive yesterday and that I’d seen HIS keys laying on top of the dryer (not sure why) while he was gone to get my cokes. I’d moved HIS keys to the top of HIS dresser (so HE could find them in the morning). I start looking – kitchen table, bar, dryer, bedroom, bathroom, patio, garage, Bug’s room, den – you name it, I looked there.

After 20 minutes of looking I finally had to call Honey. When he answered I asked, “Where are my keys?”. “Uhhhh – I don’t have them. I found mine this morning, they were on the dresser” (I’m sorry, who “found” them?) I said, “That’s good, now where are MY keys? You used them last” “Uhhhh – did you look on the table?” “YES! Unlike someone else I know, I actually LOOK for MY stuff before I call on others to be responsible for finding MY stuff”. “Uhhhh – did I not put them in your purse?” I almost dropped the phone, “Yes honey, you put them in my purse. I just called to test you and see if you could remember. NO they aren’t IN MY PURSE!!!! That’s the problem!” “Uhhhh – I’m sorry but I don’t have a clue what I did with them”. I asked, “What did you have on yesterday?” He proceeds to ramble off 3 different outfits (which explains why my laundry is out of control all the time) the last one being a pair of denim shorts. I start digging in the hamper and locate the shorts and low and behold – MY keys are in the pocket.

Now, at this point I am more than a little irritated. It’s one thing when he looses HIS stuff but when he starts losing MY stuff……….well, that just is not something I am going to be able to deal with (I know me). I explain to Honey that from now on there is a new rule – he is never allowed to use my keys for any reason – period. I rambled on and on about how I keep up with MY stuff. I always know where MY keys are because I put them in my purse. I don’t expect him to keep track of all of MY stuff and I shouldn’t have to keep track of HIS stuff. Blah, Blah, Blah, nag, nag, nag. He again apologized, I accepted, told him I loved him and hung up. Ugh!!!

I stomp back to the kitchen with my keys. I hang up the phone, grab my Diet Coke from the fridge, and go to stick it in my purse………..that isn’t on the table. CRAP!! At some point during my treasure hunt for my keys – I’d laid my purse down somewhere and I have no clue where!! I go BACK to the bedroom, garage, patio, Bug’s room and den – nothing. Just as I start to think I am losing my mind I remember the one other place I’d looked for the keys……..the dryer. There it was, sitting on the dryer with a Diet Coke already sitting in it. I grabbed my purse, put my keys in it, returned one of the beverages to the fridge and out the door I went. Then back in the door I came to get my laptop THEN out the door I went for work.

Now, Honey knows nothing of my misplacing my purse and I plan to NEVER tell him so I’d appreciate it if you would all keep it to yourselves. If you blab on me – I will send him to YOUR house and let him move YOUR stuff around for a while.