Paging Dr. Bean

I told you guys earlier that I babysit. Well the two boys have a tendency to be a little rambunctious (i.e. try to kill each other on a fairly regular basis). I spend a lot of my time saying things like, "no hitting...stop wrestling...don't throw your sister" it can be exhausting.

Anyway, the other day I'd made the "stop acting like crack heads" announcement about 5 times before it was time to leave for school. As the boys were putting on their shoes, Wrasslin says to Zookeeper, "you kicked me in the leg" to which Zookeeper defends with, "you punched me in the stomach"...followed by a chorus of whiny "no I didn'ts" from both boys. At this point, I'd only had ONE cup of coffee and was no longer in the mood for politically correct, socially acceptable parenting/caregiving tactics. I was not in a place where I could sit them down and lovingly express how when they fight they could hurt one another, how it's important to be sweet to your siblings and protect them not injure them. No, it was early, I was low on caffeine and "kind words". What I did was look at them both and say, "I don't care! I don't care if one of you knocks the head off the other...I warned you to stop fighting. So, when blood starts gushing from one of your bodies, don't come running to me because I will NOT give you a wash cloth, paper towel, piece of toilet paper or a bandaid...you'll just stand there bleeding till you're empty!".
As they stared at me like I'd grown three more heads, I turned on my heels to stomp off in a show of utter disgust and dang near knocked over Bean. She was standing with her hands on her hips and had a very stern look on her face. I said, "what?", in my most "don't mess with me right now" tone and she raised her eyebrows at me and says, "Momma, just because somebody doesn't listen does NOT mean you can just let them bleed to death!". I said, "put your dang shoes on and go to school"...and I went to the bathroom to laugh. I hear her telling the boys, "I know where the band aids are"...how am I supposed to keep order around here if the 6 year old undermines my authority? Oh well, off to buy band aids...