Bingo...........Bull$*@!

OK – so I’ve talked about moving to Oakley, IL and I’ve explained that it is a VERY small town but I don’t think even I realized how small until last Friday. Last Friday was Cerro Gordo (the town/school that Baby Girl attends) Homecoming. If you’ve seen the show Friday Night Lights you will understand what it’s like.

The entire town shuts down and everything is painted Blue and Orange in support of our beloved Broncos. They dismiss school early and everyone gathers to watch the Homecoming Parade where every kid that plays on any team or in any band rides on floats and throws candy. The parade is led by the TWO Cerro Gordo squad cars and the rear is brought up by the entire Cerro Gordo Emergency crew that consists of ONE ambulance, ONE fire truck and ONE rescue truck. In between all of those flashing lights and sirens are homemade floats depicting various ways the Broncos are going to crush their opponents at that night’s game. There was an antique car carrying the only living member of the Cerro Gordo class of 1932 and a flatbed truck that carried all 7 members of the Red Hat Society. There were kids on bikes chanting “Go Broncos”, convertibles carrying last year’s Homecoming King and Queen, this year’s King and Queen, Little Mr. and Miss Piatt County, Little Mr. and Miss Cerro Gordo, Little Mr. and Miss Bronco, Little Mr. and Miss Tuesday Afternoon……….and probably a few more that I missed.

Honey was at work so MaMaw picked me and the girls up so that we wouldn’t miss the pre-game festivities. Riding with her the 4 minutes it takes to get to Cerro Gordo from my house was the scariest thing I’ve ever done! She spent most of her time looking in the backseat talking to Bug while I held my breath and prayed that we would make it in one piece. We arrived at the school (alive) and I put Bean in her stroller and we made our way to a “good spot” where we could see all of the action. I located Baby Girl and we all watched the parade, waved like fools, clapped and cheered for every athlete and beauty queen that drove by and the girls chased candy until they filled a HUGE bag with Tootsie Rolls, suckers and gum. After the entire precession had passed us we all relocated to the END of the route so that we could watch it all over again as they returned to the school………..again waving and clapping like we hadn’t seen any of this 5 minutes ago. We loaded up and MaMaw drove us back home where I promptly cracked open an ice cold beverage to calm my nerves.

Although the parade was really fun it was NOT the highlight of the day, nor was the football game that night (although the Broncos got DEMOLISHED). No, the highlight of the day was Willy Bingo!!! What is Willy Bingo you might ask……….as I did. Well my friends, Willy Bingo is an event that they have in Cerro Gordo to raise money for the after prom party…….a very good cause. In order to have a regulation Willy Bingo game you have to fence in a section of field and paint a grid in the enclosure consisting of 300 equally sized squares. Each square is assigned a number and people can purchase a square for $10. Once all of the squares have been sold the game begins. A kindly old man unloads a calf off of a trailer and releases him into the enclosure. The calf wanders around aimlessly for a few minutes and then he takes a dump. The square in which this precious treasure lands is the “winner” and the owner of that square gets $1000!!! That’s right folks, for 10 bucks you can take a gamble on a big pile of cow crap and possibly multiply your investment by 10!!

In my life I’ve participated in TONS of fundraisers. I’ve bought and sold everything from wrapping paper to frozen pork roasts but I have NEVER heard of selling a chance on cow patties! However, for a school to be able to raise $3000 in less than 10 minutes………that’s pretty impressive. So, the next time that you are at a PTA meeting or a parents meeting with your child’s athletic team and they want ideas on how to raise money raise your hand and suggest Willy Bingo. I’m sure that when you explain it SOMEBODY will say, “that’s bull$*@!”, and you can say, “EXACTLY!”